He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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