Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
