Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
