i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
