I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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