I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
