Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize