Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize