When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
