hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize