R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize