i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
