i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
