like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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