Pants 0. Shit 1.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
