My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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