i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
