ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
