Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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