I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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