Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
