i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
