I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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