forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
