Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
