If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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