If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i think my cat just said my name.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
