Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Randomize
