wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
