Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
