Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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