You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
