So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
