Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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