you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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