It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize