also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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