Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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