Do vagina's smell?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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