if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize