Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
