Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize