If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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