Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize