people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
