Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've blown a few things in my day
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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