The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
