Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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