Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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