Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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