I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
