He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize
