Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize