Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
