this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize