Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
