i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize