white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
