It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
