OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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