Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
