some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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