Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
