the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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