Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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