matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
